If you’re in a long-term relationship or a marriage, you know that it takes some effort to build your relationship! As time goes by and we are busy with commitments and kids and responsibilities, it can be easy to put your relationship second. That person understands you well and knows you’re busy, of course, but time with them is good for both of you! I’m talking about all aspects of your relationship, emotional and sexual! When it may be necessary to fold another load of laundry or relaxing to watch another episode of your show, take some time for both of you and connect and have a blast.
Remember, everyone is different and every relationship is different. Keep that in mind, and don’t compare yourself or your relationship to others. Below are five tips on how to spice things up in your relationship and reap the benefits in and out of the bedroom!
- Reprioritize sex: We are all concerned about our health here, and sometimes we don’t realize that one awesome thing we can do for our bodies and minds (and our partner’s body and mind) is free and fun. We often prioritize everything above developing closeness and intimacy with our partners, and our lives reflect that. It’s not all about scheduling (though scheduling sex isn’t a bad idea); it’s about a mental shift toward actively thinking about the importance of sensuality in your relationship.
- Put away the phones: Nothing is a worse mood-killer than your eyes on your little phone screen or a laptop in your lap. Put these electronics away and actually look at them when you talk! You can be thinking about all the fun you and your honey are going to do tonight, and then a Facebook post or a text
distracts you. There’s no fun at the end of that rabbit hole! When you put these electronics away, you signal to your partner that you are focused on them only and helps you refocus! - Show some tenderness: It takes so little effort to give your spouse a long hug or a soft lingering kiss. Hold their hand when you walk places or ride in the car. Plant a smack on their butt as they walk through the room. Being affectionate expresses love in small ways, shows your partner that you’re thinking of them, and can also help you get in the mood. You never know where a kiss as you pass down the hall might lead!
- Lift your mood: It can be hard to just dive straight into sex without being in the mood. Take some time for yourself in get in the mood. Send a suggestive text message or leave a little note on the bathroom mirror that sets the stage. Share a glass of wine and chat together. Go for a walk. Do anything that makes you feel relaxed and connected to your partner and have a blast.
- Switch things up and be spontaneous: If you’re exhausted at the end of the day, do a switcharoo and do it in the morning! If a playdate comes up and you have the house to yourself, take advantage! Look out for time opportunities. Sometimes, instead of filling that time with chores or phone calls, switch it up and pull your partner into the bedroom! Try something different every so often and see open spots of time as chances to get busy!
Your partner is “your person” – your safe place, and your best friend. Give them the time and attention they deserve whether it’s in the bedroom or you are just having a conversation after a long day of work. After you have been together a while sparks don’t just fly on their own, so maybe just start with one of the above ideas and see how it goes.
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